A COLLECTION OF THE SIMPSONS QUOTES (FROM VARIOUS SOURCES) :
"Eat my shorts..." - Bart Simpson
"I never thought I'd say this about a TV show but, this is kind of stupid" - Homer - S10E13
"Alright New York, I'm coming back, but your not getting this. (Throws wallet in fire)" - Homer - S09E01
"I don't have to be careful, I got a gun." - Homer - S09E05
"Why, if I had my gun I'd show him a thing or two. - Homer - S09E05
"I once knew a man from nantucket, you know the stories about him are greatly exaggerated." - Homer
Stupid eh? Yeah I'm stupid, stupid like a fox!
Mr. Burns: You there, fill it up with petroleum distillate, and re-vulcanize my tires, post-haste.
every time i learn something new it push's some old stuff out -homer simpson
Lisa - I thought I couldn't but I could and I can and I can do it again, let's do it again!
"suck, suck" - Maggie
'Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.'-Homer
Homer: "Err... Do u want a donut?"
Lisa: "No Thanks, don't u have any fruit?"
Homer: "This donut has purple in it, purple's a fruit"
Announcer: "Congratulations, Barny Gumble, u've just won a years supply of Duff"
Barney: "Argh! Just inject it into my veins"
Lisa: "Then put ut left arm into ur left sleeve and ur done"
Ralph: "I dressed myself!"
(Ralph comes out of his room with his trousers on his upper body and his vest on his legs)
"Who shot who in the when what now?"
"What is your fascination with my forbidden closet of mysteries?"
"I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES." - Homer
"Marge - I'm gonna show you the time of your life,.. Yep we're getting take-out and doing it twice!" - Homer
"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try' " - Homer
"God bless those pagans." - Yep, Homer J
"Oh no, the dead have risen and they're voting Republican." -Lisa
Mr burns: the heart is the strongest muscle
homer: what about the weiner? the weiner is pretty strong, i saw a guy lift a paint can with his on TV once
" 'To start, press any key'. Where's the 'any' key? -Homer
"They have the internet on computers now?"- Homer
Moe:Uh, hey, everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt
Oh, wait a minute...
Sideshow Bob: Attempted murder? Now what is that? Do we give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry?
Homer: Don't worry, getting eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep... in a giant blender.
Homer: A gun isn't a weapon, Marge... its a tool... like a butcher knife or a harpoon or... or... an alligator.
you just need more education on the subject.
Homer: You're missing the point! The individual doesn't matter. It was a team effort!
And I was the one who came up with the whole team idea... Me!
Homer: Lisa, vampires are make-believe just like elves, gremlins and Eskimos.
Homer: First comes love then comes... Dammit i know this....
"My mind says stop, but my heart, and my hips, cry proceed." - That dude that was hitting on Marge
"I'm not gay but I'll learn" - Homer
"Duffman is thrusting in the direction of the problem" - Duffman
"Me fail English? That's unpossible!" ~ Ralph
"Duffman wonders, what would Jesus do?":Duffman
"Unfortunately, son, we Simpsons sometimes have to bend the rules a little in order to hold our own." - Homer J Simpson
"Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!"
- Homer
"I'm Bart Simpson, who the Hell are you?"
"There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart
"I hope I didn't brain my damage." Homer
Mr. Largo: Miss Simpson? Do you find something funny about the word tromboner?
Sherri: She was looking at Nelson!
Everyone: Lisa likes Nelson!
Milhouse: She does not!
Everyone: Milhouse like Lisa!
Janey: He does not!
Everyone: Janey likes Milhouse!
Uter: She does not!
Everyone: Uter likes Milhouse!
Mr. Largo: Nobody likes Milhouse!
"Well, somebody had to take the babysitter home, then I noticed she was sitting on her sweet can, so i grabbed her sweet can. Oh just thinking about her can, I just wish I had her Sweeet, sweeet, s-s-sweeet can." - Homer
"I can't buy that. Only management type guys with big salaries like me can afford that. Guys like me, I'm a guy like me!" - Homer
homer simpson:"But every time I learn something new, it pushes out something old! Remember that time I took a home wine-making course and forgot how to drive?"
Homer's brain: Use reverse psychology.
Homer: Oh, that sounds too complicated.
Homer's brain: Okay, don't use reverse psychology.
Homer: Okay, I will!
homer simpson:No, please don't eat me. I have a wife and kids, eat them!
homer simpson:We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn't hear anybody laughin', did you?!
homer simpson: Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddy's, and kids with fake IDs.
homer simpson: I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!
Homer: "Hello, my name is Mr. Burns, I believe you have a letter for me"
Mail Man: "OK Mr. Burns, what is your first name?"
Homer: "I don't know"
Lenny: "Didn't you die of alcohol poisoning last week?"
Duffman: "Duffman does not die, only the actors who play him - ohhh yeahhhhhhhh"
homer simpson : "Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked, hold on Lenny, my stupid weiner kids are calling"
"Internet! Is that thing still around?"
"Lisa honey, are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?"
"Trying is the first step towards failure."
ShopKeeper: "The doll is cursed..........but it comes with a free frogurt"
Homer: mmmm thats good
ShopKeeper: But the frogurt is also cursed
Homer: mmm thats bad
ShopKeeper: But it comes in your choice of toppings
Homer: mmmm thats good
ShopKeeper: The toppings contain potasium benzoate
Homer: ?
ShopKeeper: Thats bad
"If you were 17, we'd be RICH now! But noooooooo. You had to be 10"
Operator, give me the number for 911!
Homer: No beer and no TV make Homer something something
Marge: Go crazy?
Homer: Don't mind if i do
----------------
Homer: 20 dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Brain: 20 dollars can get u many peanuts
Homer: explain how
Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services
Homer: WOOHOO
--------------------
Has anybody seen Mike Rotch lately? - Moe
Marge - Homer, I have someone here who thinks he can help you.
Homer - Is it batman?
Marge - No its a scientist.
homer - Batman's a scientist!
Marge - Its not batman!
HOMER - danananana leader, leader, LEADER!
Homer - Not many things impress me... WHOA! A BLUE CAR! WOW!
Lisa - -whispers- (dad, i know how to get us out of this breakfast.)
Lisa - Hey dad, wanna go take a look at my science project?
Homer - Not really hunny -winks-, but is sure dont want to eat this crappy breakfast.
Homer - Marge, i have bad news, Lenny was hurt when the cooling tank exploded.
marge - not lenny. NOT LENNY!
Marge - Kids, I have bad news about Lenny.
Lisa and Bart - NOT LENNY!!!!
Carl - Hey homer, what wacky name do you want?
Homer - are Poo and Ass taken?
Carl - Yep
Homer - Doh!, how could this day get any worse?
Librarian - Sir, do you belong to this elementary school?
Homer - --Holding up one of his many penants (this one says "school")-- I think its pretty obvious that I do, GO SCHOOL!
"Beer is like a woman. They're lean, beautiful, taste and smell good and you'll run over your mother to get one." Homer.
Homer: "I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I really wanted was a club sandwich"
"Eat my shorts..." - Bart Simpson
"I never thought I'd say this about a TV show but, this is kind of stupid" - Homer - S10E13
"Alright New York, I'm coming back, but your not getting this. (Throws wallet in fire)" - Homer - S09E01
"I don't have to be careful, I got a gun." - Homer - S09E05
"Why, if I had my gun I'd show him a thing or two. - Homer - S09E05
"I once knew a man from nantucket, you know the stories about him are greatly exaggerated." - Homer
Stupid eh? Yeah I'm stupid, stupid like a fox!
Mr. Burns: You there, fill it up with petroleum distillate, and re-vulcanize my tires, post-haste.
every time i learn something new it push's some old stuff out -homer simpson
Lisa - I thought I couldn't but I could and I can and I can do it again, let's do it again!
"suck, suck" - Maggie
'Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.'-Homer
Homer: "Err... Do u want a donut?"
Lisa: "No Thanks, don't u have any fruit?"
Homer: "This donut has purple in it, purple's a fruit"
Announcer: "Congratulations, Barny Gumble, u've just won a years supply of Duff"
Barney: "Argh! Just inject it into my veins"
Lisa: "Then put ut left arm into ur left sleeve and ur done"
Ralph: "I dressed myself!"
(Ralph comes out of his room with his trousers on his upper body and his vest on his legs)
"Who shot who in the when what now?"
"What is your fascination with my forbidden closet of mysteries?"
"I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES." - Homer
"Marge - I'm gonna show you the time of your life,.. Yep we're getting take-out and doing it twice!" - Homer
"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try' " - Homer
"God bless those pagans." - Yep, Homer J
"Oh no, the dead have risen and they're voting Republican." -Lisa
Mr burns: the heart is the strongest muscle
homer: what about the weiner? the weiner is pretty strong, i saw a guy lift a paint can with his on TV once
" 'To start, press any key'. Where's the 'any' key? -Homer
"They have the internet on computers now?"- Homer
Moe:Uh, hey, everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt
Oh, wait a minute...
Sideshow Bob: Attempted murder? Now what is that? Do we give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry?
Homer: Don't worry, getting eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep... in a giant blender.
Homer: A gun isn't a weapon, Marge... its a tool... like a butcher knife or a harpoon or... or... an alligator.
you just need more education on the subject.
Homer: You're missing the point! The individual doesn't matter. It was a team effort!
And I was the one who came up with the whole team idea... Me!
Homer: Lisa, vampires are make-believe just like elves, gremlins and Eskimos.
Homer: First comes love then comes... Dammit i know this....
"My mind says stop, but my heart, and my hips, cry proceed." - That dude that was hitting on Marge
"I'm not gay but I'll learn" - Homer
"Duffman is thrusting in the direction of the problem" - Duffman
"Me fail English? That's unpossible!" ~ Ralph
"Duffman wonders, what would Jesus do?":Duffman
"Unfortunately, son, we Simpsons sometimes have to bend the rules a little in order to hold our own." - Homer J Simpson
"Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!"
- Homer
"I'm Bart Simpson, who the Hell are you?"
"There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart
"I hope I didn't brain my damage." Homer
Mr. Largo: Miss Simpson? Do you find something funny about the word tromboner?
Sherri: She was looking at Nelson!
Everyone: Lisa likes Nelson!
Milhouse: She does not!
Everyone: Milhouse like Lisa!
Janey: He does not!
Everyone: Janey likes Milhouse!
Uter: She does not!
Everyone: Uter likes Milhouse!
Mr. Largo: Nobody likes Milhouse!
"Well, somebody had to take the babysitter home, then I noticed she was sitting on her sweet can, so i grabbed her sweet can. Oh just thinking about her can, I just wish I had her Sweeet, sweeet, s-s-sweeet can." - Homer
"I can't buy that. Only management type guys with big salaries like me can afford that. Guys like me, I'm a guy like me!" - Homer
homer simpson:"But every time I learn something new, it pushes out something old! Remember that time I took a home wine-making course and forgot how to drive?"
Homer's brain: Use reverse psychology.
Homer: Oh, that sounds too complicated.
Homer's brain: Okay, don't use reverse psychology.
Homer: Okay, I will!
homer simpson:No, please don't eat me. I have a wife and kids, eat them!
homer simpson:We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn't hear anybody laughin', did you?!
homer simpson: Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddy's, and kids with fake IDs.
homer simpson: I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!
Homer: "Hello, my name is Mr. Burns, I believe you have a letter for me"
Mail Man: "OK Mr. Burns, what is your first name?"
Homer: "I don't know"
Lenny: "Didn't you die of alcohol poisoning last week?"
Duffman: "Duffman does not die, only the actors who play him - ohhh yeahhhhhhhh"
homer simpson : "Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked, hold on Lenny, my stupid weiner kids are calling"
"Internet! Is that thing still around?"
"Lisa honey, are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?"
"Trying is the first step towards failure."
ShopKeeper: "The doll is cursed..........but it comes with a free frogurt"
Homer: mmmm thats good
ShopKeeper: But the frogurt is also cursed
Homer: mmm thats bad
ShopKeeper: But it comes in your choice of toppings
Homer: mmmm thats good
ShopKeeper: The toppings contain potasium benzoate
Homer: ?
ShopKeeper: Thats bad
"If you were 17, we'd be RICH now! But noooooooo. You had to be 10"
Operator, give me the number for 911!
Homer: No beer and no TV make Homer something something
Marge: Go crazy?
Homer: Don't mind if i do
----------------
Homer: 20 dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Brain: 20 dollars can get u many peanuts
Homer: explain how
Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services
Homer: WOOHOO
--------------------
Has anybody seen Mike Rotch lately? - Moe
Marge - Homer, I have someone here who thinks he can help you.
Homer - Is it batman?
Marge - No its a scientist.
homer - Batman's a scientist!
Marge - Its not batman!
HOMER - danananana leader, leader, LEADER!
Homer - Not many things impress me... WHOA! A BLUE CAR! WOW!
Lisa - -whispers- (dad, i know how to get us out of this breakfast.)
Lisa - Hey dad, wanna go take a look at my science project?
Homer - Not really hunny -winks-, but is sure dont want to eat this crappy breakfast.
Homer - Marge, i have bad news, Lenny was hurt when the cooling tank exploded.
marge - not lenny. NOT LENNY!
Marge - Kids, I have bad news about Lenny.
Lisa and Bart - NOT LENNY!!!!
Carl - Hey homer, what wacky name do you want?
Homer - are Poo and Ass taken?
Carl - Yep
Homer - Doh!, how could this day get any worse?
Librarian - Sir, do you belong to this elementary school?
Homer - --Holding up one of his many penants (this one says "school")-- I think its pretty obvious that I do, GO SCHOOL!
"Beer is like a woman. They're lean, beautiful, taste and smell good and you'll run over your mother to get one." Homer.
Homer: "I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I really wanted was a club sandwich"
Also Read: Star Wars: YODA Quotes
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